Two Evils (Besides the Voices), Packing and Dishes

Me: Ooooo! So many clothes to decide on.

Myself: Oh for frig sakes! Why are we doing two piles? Why? That's a lot of laundry when we are back!

Me: Love the choices!

Myself: Why are you discussing this like we've never see our own clothes before and that we are excitedly clothes shopping or something?  Shopping is a horror event in itself with all the hassle of stripping and re-robing and being the frugal beasts we are in sticking with the budget

Me: Haven't worn this in awhile.

Myself: Please tell me you are in as muchpain as Myself here.

I: I am *sigh*

Myself: Why? Why are we doing this to ourselves? Why? Why two sets of clothes?

I: To be more efficient in between the destinations: one pile is for the north and all the bussing. The other is for when we get back, have less than 24 hours before we head out again and this time by air.  I figure, this way we just put the first destinations clothing choices in the laundry basket, and the other pile for the eastward cross country adventure by plane can just be readily tossed in the backpack.

Myself: Ok! Got that, got that! Still hate it! Still need to sort if we really need all these clothes.

I: It's because it is the longest we have been away for awhile.  We need clothes!!! 

Me: Pretty! Can I try stuff on.

Myself: NO!

I: Oh god she's trying them on when they needed to be in the bag.

Myself: *grabs the sledgehammer* Hold on! Got this!

I: No! Don't hit her!

Me: *gasps* AH!!! *starts running*

Myself: That's right! You better run!

People Lacking the Art of Contact

Myself: Ummm! How come we are getting texts and call responses, hours, even days later after we attempted to initiate contact? Then it's expected that we are supposed to answer right away... and if we don't do so promptly we are the jerks? HUH? Someone explain this before I smack someone hard.

Me: *sniffles* Ignored most times.  We are the ones who try to maintain contact with everyone just to be turned away or only acknowledged in a crisis to save the day.  Makes me sad.

I: It's okay! *hugs* Just do the same as they do. We need to stop fussing over others who do not make us a priority... and they can get all uppity about it as they please, we just return the ignorance act in kind.

Myself: Ignore this??? Royally miffed.  Excuse moi for not being all zen about this! People need to ... ARGH!! So ticked! I require black tea, be allowed to shadow box, followed by a large hike, then great sex.

Me: *covers ears* We just woke up and she's talking about getting.... action?

I: Laid honey! Yes, she wishes to get laid at this hour! As well as many other demands are being listed which means our day is about to become more difficult if she is left at the helm.

Me: *whispers* How does she plan that with no man in our lives for ages and no potentials in sight? I am just curious

Myself: Are you saying we have no appeal? That it could not happen?

I: *raises an eyebrow* You think I am going to let you?

Myself: Shame! Wasting ourselves away! We have sex appeal. You just don't use it. Disgraceful

Me: Sex appeal?

I: I know. Don't know what she is talking about....

I Am No Good In the Love Department. Me and Myself Like To Turn Against Me

Myself: Oh look! She's blushing.

I: No! No I am not!

Me: Oh my gosh she is so cute when she blushes. She hasn't blushed like that in a long time. Adorable!!! EEEE!

I: Both of you quiet!

Myself: Now, now! It is not a full on blush.  Just enough to make you rosy and glowy! Sexay!

I: I am not sexy!

Myself: Work it sistah!

I: Shut up! I am not, and it means nothing.

Me: Awww! She's helpless like a kitten when she's embarassed. You could poke her right now and she'd giggle like a little girl!

Myself: Listen. We're not getting younger, so if a decently looking guy is checking you out, or staring at you from afar, or seems to slightly blush at times when you look back, please roll with it.  It doesn't mean anything will come of it.

I: Sigh! Thank you! You're right.

Myself:.... However if it does lead to something you are sooo out of practice might I suggest..

I: GO AWAY BOTH OF YOU NOW!!

Myself: Sure! You like to tease the rest of the world, but when the guns turn on you it's a different story isn't it? MWAH HAHAHA!

I: *groans*

Me: This is true.  We love you though.  Let's hug.

I: Fine!

Me: You too.. OW!!

Myself: No touch!!! We've been over this, you're taking this relationship too far.

We Definitely Agree On Life Advice to Our Family and Friends

Myself: Making demands of the world to achieve your goals and greatness is not going to work, they are demands that only can be placed upon yourself to make the change.

Me: While being kind, sensible, and reasonable to yourself too. Even though the message of the world today is we should able to be anything and have everything we want.. its just not sensible peoples.

I: You need a plan, and realize that it may not happen all at once, but each of those things may just have to be one at a time, and each in a different period of your life. And! Sacrifices have to be made sometimes; sometimes you have to let go of something in order to get to what you really want, or, something in life you don't want to miss out on.

We Try to Wake Up Positive

I: Get up and conquer the world.

Me: Get up and love the world and hopefully make it a better place.

Myself: You two... There better be black tea, lots of music to wake up to, and enough exercise to get my endorphins going.

How the Others Treat Themselves Sometimes

Me: *sniffles*

Myself: Stop it, stop it right now

I: Whose panicking?

Myself: She is, and she is worried about nothing.

Me: What if something's wrong?

I: Darling you can't keep worrying about something unless you know there is something to worry 
about.

Myself: THAT'S EXACTLY HOW SHE WAS TOLD--!

I: Before or after you used the sledgehammer on her.

Myself: It was while I was saying it.

I: Now you've made things worse. Ugh!

Me: I want my teddy bear, and to make a phone call.

Myself:... Sorry...

Treating the Others

Me: Yummy! She took us out for breakfast 

Myself: Now she is taking us to the movies!!!! Yes!!!!

I: You are both welcome. Group hug!

Me: Eee! Yes!

Myself: Woah, going too far!

Sad Days Like Today

Myself: Days like today, after what happened in Manchester, and the world pauses to think of those in pain and do what they can to help.... we take a moment to remember. Even though.. GRRR!

Me: She easily gets angered and feels the need to do something even when she can't. We are miles and miles away to help. It frustrates her. It's hard to get out of bed. Nightmares last night don't help either.

Myself: Thanks for speaking for Myself *glares* Wanting to do something, but there is nothing.

Me: Praying helps. Sending positive thoughts help. Imagining love and kindness surround them all helps.

Myself: .... You're right.  Will do my best.

I: Counting our blessings. Thinking our loved ones.  Appreciate all we have right now, the life we have right now.  

Myself: Need to go for a long hike in the sun. Down through the valley, over the hill, up into our favourite little mall, and take the daily moment to love and be kind to ourselves and the great city and it's community we live in.

Me: That's right!

I: Amen!

Killing Negativity

When negativity hits the brain, it used to be a big snowball effect. One bad thought, then suddenly more would join the downhill roll, the ball getting enormous and sometimes paralyzing me that the head hurt because suddenly all that filled my brain was what was wrong with me, where I worried I could fail my loved ones, what could all go wrong for me and the world.  I can be very unkind to myself despite I am a generally a energetic smiley beast.  Lately, this is how I deal with any negative pats on the head:

Myself: Grab it!!! Grab it from her, she's the one who has it this time.

Me: Scared! So friggin scared!! *has a snowball and keeps adding more snow* this is all that could happen. The world is going to end. We are all doomed.  Failure!!!

I: Give it over. Right now.

Me: But look at it.  Look what can happen! Look at the bad that has happened. It will all happen again I tell you. 

Myself: *pulls out sledgehammer* Hand her the snowball now small fry!

Me: Oh... okay!

Myself: *passes teddy bear* Hug that instead and think of sunshine, lollipops, rainbows...

Me: And uniiiicorns? 

Myself: Yes. *meanwhile dreams of men she thinks is sexy in swimsuits* Uniiiicorns.

I: *tosses snowball in a bonfire of one thousand degrees Celsius* never come back. You are not welcome here. *grabs sledgehammer and points it at Myself* Same for you, no snowballs.

Myself: Uniiiiiicorns.

Surviving Day to Day

Before bed sometimes this is how my brain feels, how the conversation between the three of us generally goes:

Myself: So much effort to look after one person... Myself... Uuuugh!

Me: *smiles* Just think on it though, how good it all is!!! We do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, walking, health and beauty regiment, pay the bills and haven't died yet. All on our own!

Myself: ...Why did you have to do that, just keep adding to it right before bed?

Me: I think its pretty swell. 

Myself: ... It is... Maybe...

Me: Yooouuuu looooove me. You agree with me sometimes. Hey?... Hey?...

Myself: ... Maybe.

I: We live for another day. Ooo rah!

When People Are Hurting Others

When there are people in the world hurting others I love... Or I see people constantly hurting one another in the world and wonder ..why?  That is when Me,  Myself and I will reach for lemons:

Myself: For those who delight on hurting others... for whatever reason you think it is okay. It isn't. We have a gift.  We were given lemons today, so we cut them in half and we throw them at faces. Aiming for the eyes! Oh! Too far?

Me: *cutting lemons* Here you go dearie.

I: Its a disgusting way to treat one another.  

Me: And for you.

Myself: What do you call what we are doing here? *hold up lemon wedge*

I: Making them stop and rinse their eyeballs out. In hopes they find redemption.

Me: We can only hope.

Ignorance is Bliss... Usually

There is an ex who despite I ignore all messages and phone calls etc over the years, this person still will suddenly write. I don't know why.  There was even a text a couple of years ago, a very long time since we broke up that still wished me birthday greetings and, "I love you," even though they are with someone else now.  I ignore it all, never responded. To be safe I show all my family and certain friends when a message pops up to be safe because... I don't know, it seems weird. 

Myself voice in my brain has always had a love for sledgehammers though I never owned one.  I used a sledge once to help demolish a fence for a family friend, but no sledgehammers have been in these hands since. Myself always voices that it is time to grab one when people have harmed or hurt (even their feelings) the one's we love.  My family and friends still chuckle when I say, "time to grab the sledgehammer.... where did you say they lived?"  

Alas, a year ago I got a friend request on Facebook from the ex. Then later in the year a message request.  I have not seen nor written any responses to this person for three years when I realized that they appear to weirdly have an issue of letting go.  And it had already been three years since we broke up at that point; we barely spoke or saw one another at that point as well.  This was my triad's discussion on the subject:

Myself: that friend notification. What the eff? How does my glowing effing ignorance of their existence constitute a request?

I: I knoooow! Ugh! Pass me the bagel.

Myself: We ignore this too right?

I: Duh! Yes! Why can't we get wonderful people we like and are long lost requesting us?

Myself: I don't understand how ignoring means, "keep trying to make contact."


Me: *swinging sledgehammer* Kill! Kill!

I: That's new! Why are you letting her play with that?

Myself: Don't worry, she'll just wear herself out.

I: ... Or accidentally kill US!!

Myself:... S---! I never thought of that :S

I: And this is why I make the rules! To avoid sudden death!

Feels Like the Laws of Physics Work Against Me, Myself and I.

There has been many times in my life where it feels like things around me occur that physics cannot explain.  Even my friends have been near me in situations where they were like, "what just happened?" I wish I could say it was to my advantage, but hardly.  The big one that happened was about a year ago, when I started running water for cleaning dishes. There were a mere few large dishes in there that needed a decent soak so I put in a drop of dish soap and started the water, then I tidied a few other things while I had my headphones in, filling my ears with music, and my body began to dance while I worked.  It takes at least two minutes to fill the semi-largish sink, and suddenly after about less than a minute I realized water was flooding my kitchen.  One pot for some reason had flipped itself on a peculiar angle right under the flow of the tap water and made a beautiful, perfectly aimed arch onto the floor.  No time to record or take photos of what was to me a very interesting phenomenon. Instead, this happened: 

Me: FLOOD! FLOOD! FLOOOOOOD!!! WAAAAH!

I: WHAT THE H---!!!!????

Me: WATCH OUT FOR THE SNAPPLE BOTTLE!!! (bumped glass bottle that does a little flip)

I: *catches it*

Me: Towels!!!!!

Myself: F***!!!! F***!!! F******K!!!

I: EVERYONE CALM DOWN!

Me: I can't help it!!! I'm PANICKING!!!

Myself: SHUT UP!!!

Me: WAAAAAH!!!

I: STOP IT!!! Ok. No more water issue. Nothing broke. And WE are still alive... Sigh!

Me: Sorry, we got distracted.

Myself: We forgot and got dancing...

I: Forgiven. And its fine. It could've been worse.

Me: *whispers* What if things get worse?

Myself: Now she's done it, something really bad is going to happen.

I: Or maybe its a sign that we will be luckier.

Myself: Do you really believe that?

I: No, but don't tell her that.

Me: Hurray we'll be luckier!!!

Myself:... You are such a liar

I: Yup!

Waking Up

Despite my sunny personality and seemingly bouncy energy, most folks who know me would find it surprising to be around me first thing in the morning.  When I wake up, it takes a loooong time before I am my usual joyful self.  Odd I know.  But when I first wake up I am frequently cranky, easily irritable, and even suicidal at times.  I am just not good with waking up, nor the first couple of hours after I have awakened.  Here's an example, this morning's inner dialogue betwee Myself, Me and I:

Myself: Ugh! What time is it? Oh, no way. I am still tired. 

I: No! No, no, no, no!!! Forget it, it is time to get up. We are getting up!

Me: WEEE!!! Time to rise and shine!!! The sun is bright, no clouds in the sky, birds are singing, the temperatures are warmer than yesterday.... oh, even garbage trucks are out. The world is alive and kicking and we are being far too lazy.

Myself: Garbage trucks? *groans* Seriously? You're trying to convince me that trucks are going to get me up? The world feels like such an ugly place... rather stab my eyeballs out.  Sleeping in again. Thank you! Go away both of you!

Me: Up and at 'em!!! We don't want to waste the day. Life is too short!

I: *turns to Myself* She did say the sun is shining. 

Myself: Oh my gosh!! We are still on vacation for several more weeks, and we should be doing whatever we please, and sleep is not gonna kill anyone here!!!!

I: That's it. We already slept 10 hours.  We're getting up. Let's go! *turns to Me* I got one leg, you grab the other would ya!

Me: HURRAAAAAAY!

Myself: NO! NO NO NO!!! STOP!! YOU WRETCHES!! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!! LET ME GO! NO! I HATE YOU!! AAAAH!

The Battle

The triad in my head is real.  Whether it is healthy or not is up for debate.  I live with them, and no one else has to.  I, am I in the conversations in the head filled discussions.  

We are constantly figuring out life and who we are.  Who I am! I have gotten used to the other two, and they are quite useful, or debilitating.  Either way, we have survived together, through thick and thin. Well, thee "myself" in my head would believe we owe everything in life to her, but don't tell her that, please!

For the past year I would frequently post some of the discussions within my noggin on my Facebook statuses, and I had friends who quite enjoyed it. Some folks who knew I would periodically actually make an effort to write on my blogs (my writing being rare and far between on all of them these days) had mentioned I should blog it.  It has been many months since that suggestion was brought up, I never did forget it.

In sharing this with people a little more openly, perhaps there are others who relate the struggle of the internal bickering, maybe even have a few chuckles over this silly self-dialogue with, what I daresay, three different personalities.  

With this intro, I will leave it here, and in the next share some of the statuses that seemed to gain a few laughs from pals to give people an idea of what I speak of.